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 Being
the rabid slasher freak I am, I sometimes find myself defending
all sorts of movies. I can usually find a far-fetched excuse
which will explain why the victim-to-be took a flashlight instead
of a gun. But once in a while I’ll come across a movie that
cannot be defended. One such title is Don’t Go in the Woods.
You
may find yourself tempted to rent this movie because of its
eye-catching cover art and the misleading synopsis featured
on the back of the box. Ah, to have been a copywriter in the
80s! A challenging job, for sure…
A
dim-witted group of campers (I won’t bother telling you their
names as it just does not matter) head off for a weekend of
open air and oneness with nature. Little do they know that in
this desolate part of the forest, there is a killer in their
wake.
A
simple enough formula done with such incompetence that it makes
The Prey look like pure genius. I’m not actually sure
what the filmmakers were shooting for, but I think the thought
process was to splash so much of the red stuff that we don’t
notice how bad the rest of it is. And yes, though there are
several victims, the blood shed is so poorly shot; you spend
half the time wondering where the grue is actually coming from.
It’s probably of note that the killer, who looks like he just
woke up after a Mardi-Gras blowout, can actually throw various
small objects with such force it will slash your face to ribbons.
Don’t
Go in the Woods is the kind of movie that makes you want
to rub the director’s nose in the box and scream “No! Bad Movie!
Baaaaad Movie!”
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